I am officially 35 weeks pregnant… in other words, this means that sh** is getting real, real quick.
I always find the last few weeks of a pregnancy to be particularly chaotic and full of mixed feelings, but this time, the impending arrival of baby number three is adding to the already unstoppable flow of disarray and anxiousness.
On the one hand, I am huge and feeling incredibly uncomfortable. I don’t sleep well, I have to pee all the time, and daily tasks are becoming nearly impossible. I miss being able to bathe my kids without feeling like it is a serious workout, I am not enjoying the crippling leg cramps that wake me up at night, I can’t wait to wear normal clothing again, and Lord knows, I am in desperate need of a glass of wine.
Being able to eat, let alone drink a glass of water, without getting heartburn is something I am looking more forward to than you can imagine… but most importantly, I am getting so incredibly excited to meet our newest addition and hold him for the first time. Those first magical moments of hearing him cry, getting to finally see what he looks like, and breathing in that amazing newborn smell, are all blessings I know full well that I will treasure for a lifetime.
The unknown is what always makes me weary. Not knowing when exactly he will decide to make his way into the world leaves me feeling nervous. How we will adjust to being a family of 5, scares me a little bit. What kind of baby he will be, good tempered or not, has me wondering. How he will handle the craziness that is our normal is certainly something to ponder. Of course, I know that it will all be okay, that we will make it all work no matter how many balls I have to juggle… but the feelings are palpable either way.
At the moment, I am treasuring these last days with just Max and Ella. It feel like they’ve gotten so big suddenly, that they’ve made it easy for me to forget just how little new babies are… until I started organizing newborn sized clothes and the first box of teeny tiny diapers arrived on our doorstep.
They have both been so sweet throughout my pregnancy. Rubbing and kissing my belly, whispering “Hi baby brother, we can’t wait to meet you” to it, and just being generally affectionate in all things baby related. Max only caught me off guard once, when he asked my how the baby was going to get out, leaving me speechless for a minute, before Mike stepped in and replied that it was magic… thankfully that answer satisfied him, and he did not ask again.
In so many ways I hope these next few weeks go fast, but as any mother knows… you quickly learn not to wish away time as soon as you become a parent. It goes by fast enough as it is…. So I’m living in the moment, and preparing for all of the amazing moments to come, and in the blink of an eye, they surely will.
We can’t wait to meet you baby boy… whenever you decide to enter this world!