When it was first decided that I would become a SAHM, I had visions of days spent lovingly tending to my children, with nap times spent sipping on coffee and working on crafts or trying new recipes. In these visions, my house was always spotless with minimal effort involved, and my hair and make up were both impeccably done without fail.
Fast forward to 19 months later, and 31 weeks pregnant with baby number 2.
As I compose this blog post, my attire consists of yoga pants, a maternity tank top, and a hoodie. My living room has toys strewn all about, the sink is full of dishes, and there are approximately 3 loads of laundry just begging to be done down in my basement.
Now please don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change this life for anything, but it is certainly not the glamorous life of leisure I once envisioned.
I adore my family, yoga pants are comfortable, and I have adapted the mentality that a sink full of dirty dishes means a family well fed. Truth be told though, a few weeks into my 3rd trimester… I am beyond exhausted.
There have been very few moments since my son, Max, was born that I felt like I didn’t really have it all together, whatever that means. For the most part, I have always been able to keep my composure when it comes to the constant neediness of my family. Generally, I take a deep breath, do what I need to do, and move on… But, a few days ago, I had a day. Not just any day, but one of those days where by 7 am, I was ready to throw in the towel, crawl back into bed, and have a good cry. Pregnancy hormones may be partly to blame, but in a rare-for-me moment, I really felt like I had zero control of everything around me.
Max has reached an age where his energy seems endless. He is constantly going, constantly hungry, and, like most toddlers, constantly needy and unfortunately whiny when those needs are not immediately fulfilled.
Add to that, a 5 year old attention hungry Basset Hound, who also whines whenever he wants/needs something, plus a husband who, though he works very hard, often comes home and also likes to be waited on when it comes to his food and drinks as if our home is some sort of restaurant… The result you get is one beyond-tired wife and mommy, who now considers a 5 minute shower behind a locked bathroom door, a “getaway”.
The timing couldn’t have been better that I stumbled upon this blog post that was shared on Facebook, entitled, “Mommy, Somebody Needs You.” God’s timing truly is impeccable.
After the dog’s usual 4:00 AM wake up to be let outside to relieve himself, I found myself back in bed with one long-limbed spouse, and Max, who has decided to make our Queen-size bed his new favorite spot, every night for the last week and a half. With approximately 6 inches of space to squish my pregnant body into, I wouldn’t say that I easily drifted back off to sleep. Like anyone would these days, I reached for my iPhone to see what social media had to offer for entertainment in the wee hours of the morning.
When I found and began reading this blog post, I couldn’t help but find it instantly relatable… as I’m sure most mother’s would.
Lately, I have been making it a bit of a habit to say that I live in a house with “3 very needy boys” and this early morning reading really brought me back down to earth.
This “neediness” is what I signed up for when I took on the role of being a wife and a mother with the luxury of getting to stay at home. Sure, there are days when I would love a little more help, or that I want to rip my hair out in frustration. There are also times when I pretend I’m in the basement putting in a load of laundry, but I’m really just enjoying a brief moment of peace and quiet to myself.
Some days are tougher than others, but tough days are part of the job description.
As with most things in life, when you step back for just a moment, and take a look at things from a different perspective, you learn to truly appreciate things for what they are.
My days won’t always be like this. Someday I won’t be needed like I am now. These days will be long behind me all too soon, because as we all know, time flies.
I couldn’t be more thankful for what I got out of reading “Mommy, Someone Needs You.”, mostly for the new-found appreciation of being constantly needed and wanted, even when it’s exhausting.
This job might be difficult at times, but I can’t think of a single thing in the world that is more rewarding. The next time I have a really tough day, I will try a little harder to remember to think about what is most important, to live a little more in the moment, and to really see the moment for all it has to offer; the true joy of being surrounded by people who need me.
On a side note, I wouldn’t be upset if in my next life, I got to come back as Homer… this hound has it really rough.